10 Ways Busy Professionals Sabotage Their Love Lives

Posted by Kelleher International on Aug 21, 2015 9:04:06 AM

shutterstock_180611834For busy professionals, work schedules create relationship hazards within themselves. While Kelleher International’s clients actively seek lifelong romantic connections, it is also easy to fall back into old habits that include the notorious default: being single. Don’t let your subconscious sabotage your dating life just because it’s a new experience. Give love a chance and grow with another person by identifying relationship-ending habits in your life and make a change now before it’s too late!


Avoidance. It’s easy to avoid relationships if your schedule is already busy: simply don’t go! Avoid dates, withhold an emotional connection, and simply “Ghost” out if the mood strikes. Goodbye, commitment. It’s easy to ignore someone when you have convinced yourself you don’t like them anyway. Rethink your strategy and force yourself to communicate – at least for a while. Give your date a chance to surprise you before ruling them out completely.


Loving the unattainable. There are a wide variety of people in the world, but you just so happen to only like the ones who are emotionally unavailable. When you’re not busy falling madly in love with someone who has the emotional depth of a Ken doll, you’re probably busy finding dates who live in other cities (or countries) with no plan to ever really pursue a long-distance relationship. Don’t become a star-crossed lover! Make distance and emotional availability part of your dating criteria; don’t even consider a date with someone if you know you can’t follow through.


Short-Sightedness. Think about what you want before you begin dating someone. The time to admit your visions for the future are different is not when you’re on a dream honeymoon in Tahiti – with the wrong person. If your goals are to get married and have children, wave that flag proudly! Don’t expect others to change just to accommodate your plans for the future; your date believes his or her plans are equally important. Think long-term and look out for your own best interests. You don’t have an obligation to stick around just to be nice.


Partying. There’s a reason many people choose not to search for dates in bars or nightclubs: a true gentleman or lady doesn’t want to see the love of their life falling over trash cans or slurring their words, no matter how much that drink takes the edge off after a long work day. A date who truly respects you wants to see you unimpaired in broad daylight because they enjoy your company unaltered. This is a compliment. Accept it, put the drink down, and be yourself.


Leaving too soon. There is a difference between a small spat and a relationship-ending blowout. To put things in perspective, think about your best friend: sure, the two of you disagree occasionally, but what would it take to really end the friendship? When things get heated, play romantic music or try to remember the good things about your date. Give them a chance to make things right before ending the relationship.


Negativity. Telling friends negative things about your date and then asking for their opinions is like asking whether or not you look fat in that dress: it’s a trick question, you already know which answer you want, and it’s not fair to anyone involved. Your friends have probably never met your date before, so they will only know as much as you tell them. Be kind in your descriptions and try to remain objective even if you are really nervous or excited about a date.


Listening to friends. While we’re on the topic of friends, make up your own mind about a date before asking for opinions. A relationship is about your connection with someone else – not whether your friends think that person is “cool” enough to hang out. Hear what your friends have to say, but ultimately trust your own judgement.


Wandering eyes. When someone is used to the single life, a long term relationship can incite panic and, by association, wandering eyes. Chances are, you are not so much bored with your current relationship as you are scared of missing out on something else.


Being pushy. It’s okay if you haven’t met each other’s families after only a month of dating. People move at different speeds in relationships so it is important to pay attention to your date and read the signals they give off. If a mention of game night with the crew results in a half-hearted shrug, it might be time to postpone the introductions and focus on building your emotional connection first.


Online dating. Commercials for online dating sites are prevalent in today’s technologically-savvy world, but the truth is, online dating forces participants to objectify each other and make snap judgements based only on short profiles. It is easy for a person to misrepresent themselves online and meeting strangers (even in public) is never safe. Matchmaking services like Kelleher International perform background checks on all potential matches and screen dates for shared interests and compatibility.


Idealizing. While Kelleher International clients frequently boast impressive resumes and successful careers, not every date is going to be a supermodel/athlete/scientist who doubles as your soulmate in his or her spare time. The truth is, lasting relationships are built in a solid foundation of friendship. Our elite matchmakers search for individuals who share your interests, but also have a solid grip on reality. We hate to break it to you, but your next date is only human. Be nice to them.


When the time comes to form a lasting relationship with someone new, it is important to recognize old behaviors that could make dating difficult in the future. Once these behaviors are realized, they can be fixed and you will be free to move on and build a connection based on shared interests and compatibility. Complete our contact form today to begin the journey toward a quality dating experience. 

Topics: relationship advice, Dating, commitment, Self Help

Whether you are a new client flying off to Paris for your first match or have been happily married for more than twenty years, Kelleher International wants to be your resource to make your journey of love wildly fulfilling, exciting, dynamic, and deeply passionate.

We’ll talk about strategies for dating success, navigating relationship land mines, and the mindset it takes to find love and make it blossom.  We will put current events in the context of seeking love and even give you a little window into the match making business and how a centuries-old tradition continues to evolve in our modern world.  The “right one” is out there for you, so check back weekly for updates or follow us on Twitter to make the most of our partnership in your future.

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Jill & Amber