One of the biggest challenges individuals face after going through a divorce is rebuilding trust. If you had previous trust issues, going through a divorce can significantly increase those feeling and dramatically change how you view yourself and relationships in general.
Regardless of the reason for the split, divorce can set the foundation for mistrust in future relationships – even if the ability to trust was never an issue before. It’s easy to doubt yourself and your ability to trust others after a marriage ends badly, which will affect how you act in subsequent relationships. This doubt and mistrust can manifest itself in many different ways - from feeling your partner is dishonest or secretive, to questioning their promises and dependability.
After a split do you find yourself believing the worst about relationships and fearing that you can’t hold onto love no matter what you do? It’s time to take back your life and make a positive change by following these six tips to repair trust after a divorce.
Gather Information and Acknowledge Mistrustful Thoughts
Get quiet and ask yourself - Does your lack of confidence in the relationship stem from your partner's actions, your personal issues, or possibly a combination of both? Be careful before accusing your partner of deceitful actions, but like we mentioned last week, ultimately trust your gut.
Trust Your Intuition
The trick to gaining confidence in an uncertain time is to trust your intuition. Acknowledge your perception and address any red flags that pop up in real time, like inconsistencies that occur between your partner’s words and behavior. Don't sweep things under the rug to later unload a laundry list of grievances all at once.
Accept Responsibility for Your Part
Learning to trust again is never easy; however, you can’t blame everything that happens on your partner and hope that something changes. You must take responsibility for your actions and reactions, and work toward changing your mistrustful mindset.
Listen to Their Side of the Story
When your partner is explaining the circumstances or reason for their behavior, listen to them without interruption. When it's time for you to respond, make sure your words and tone of voice both further your goal of rebuilding trust and clearly communicate your feelings. Don't project.
Believe in Your Partner
Even if your partner lets you down, you shouldn’t assume their failure was intentional – we are all human, and mistakes happen all the time.
Practice Makes Perfect
It’s important that you take learning to trust again in small steps. Learning to trust again is a skill that you can nurture over time, so take it slow and focus on the things that cause you to question your relationships. Use this chance to turn the hurts of your past into a valuable opportunity for personal growth.
At Kelleher International, we know that to trust is truly an act of courage. When you weather the loss of marriage because of broken trust, it makes you smarter and more aware of those who deserve you in their life and those who do not. When you deal with your fears honestly, you can learn to trust those instincts and judgments that shattered with your past. If you are ready to take your next step, then trust our matchmakers to find you someone who is worthy of your time and effort.
Contact us today to take this important step in learning to trust again after a divorce.