Being Open for Love: How Past Relationships Affect Dating

Posted by Amber Kelleher on Nov 5, 2013 1:37:00 PM

faEveryone encounters a few bad relationships. Some end disastrously while others finish with a mutual agreement to move on and see other people. Perhaps you've been in a relationship that lost momentum after the initial period of attraction had waned. It

happens. However, relationships make you a stronger, more informed person regarding the intricate world of dating.

Past experiences can help or hinder your dating experiences depending on how you process them. When examined in a healthy way, they can give great insight about the qualities you do and do not want in your next relationship. However, if not processed constructively, your past experiences may create impassable love roadblocks that keep you from finding the right person. Below is a list of common love roadblocks that could stand in the way of your happiness:


One of the biggest past relationship hurdles stems from infidelity. If you've been cheated on before, it is hard to move beyond the deceit, distrust and devastation. If your last relationship ended due to infidelity, you may be inclined to distrust future partners. Remember not everyone is a cheater. To suppose that everyone will cheat on you just because you've been cheated on before is an unfair assumption. With any luck, the realization that not all guys and girls are the same as your previous partners will hit you before it does any lasting damage.

Different Stages of Life

A common dating occurrence is partners in different stages of life, or who have greatly varying life goals. This may cause you to make broad generalizations in your present dating life, such as, “No man can make a commitment,” or “All women want to get married and have children right away”. These sorts of generalizations can make you closed off and cynical about dating again. It is important to discuss what your goals are and find out if you are both looking for the same thing in relationships and the future. Finding out if you are looking for the same things early on will prevent a frustrating experience later.

Moving Too Fast

In a TV interview on "The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch," Amber Kelleher-Andrews got to the root of how your past experience can shape how you treat prospective partners: "What brought you to that person in the first place? And why didn't it work?" One of the cardinal sins in the initial stages of many relationships is moving too fast. If you become overwhelmed with passionate feelings, you hurry certain aspects of the budding romance. Although it may be tough at first, taking things slow will benefit you in the long run by making sure important stages of your relationship are not passed over. Taking a relationship slowly allows you to learn crucial information about your partner and yourself.

Everyone makes mistakes when it comes to dating, and that's wholly understandable. Mistakes help us learn, so we can choose a better partner in the future. Experience matters a great deal because it influences how you can see each future relationship. Never let your past scar you. If truth be told, your past can help you find the person you've always been looking for.

Topics: Relationships

Whether you are a new client flying off to Paris for your first match or have been happily married for more than twenty years, Kelleher International wants to be your resource to make your journey of love wildly fulfilling, exciting, dynamic, and deeply passionate.

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Jill & Amber