Don't Like Valentine's Commercialism? Here's a Gameplan

Posted by Amber Kelleher on Feb 2, 2011 12:22:00 AM

I think Valentine's Day is a big commercial event that has nothing to do with love. The woman I'm with has visions of candlelight and red roses. What do I do?

You are not alone in your feelings about February 14th, so I'm not going to try to convince you that some universal love magic happens every year between the thirteenth and fifteenth that you are in danger of missing. What I am going to do is to try to re-orient you around a critical skill in a successful relationship: put yourself in her shoes.

  • In the weeks leading up to the holiday, when her friends ask "What are you two doing for Valentine's Day?", will their reaction be "omigosh that sounds spectacular" or will it be "oh, that's interesting". She wants to be the "romantic envy" of her friends.
  • When she strolls through town on the 14th and sees infinite delivery trucks preparing an endless stream of flower arrangements, do you want her to be thinking "my man has strong artificial holiday principles" or "I wonder if one of those is heading to my house, I better get home!".

So what's the middle ground? You may disagree with V-Day, but you have to acknoweledge it. The spirit of this day is to take an opportunity to share a little bit more of what is in your heart, and make someone you care about feel special. Make it a weekend away -- your story can be that you love to get away with her and this is a great weekend; her story to her friends can involve how romantic you are around Valentine's Day. Plan an intimate dinner for two and hire a chef to come in and cook just for the two of you - you avoid the hubbub of the holiday, but you create an intimate and special memory.

There's nothing you can do to keep the 14th of February from arriving on schedule, but what you can do is make sure that you put yourself in her shoes and seek creative ways to meet the "spirit" of the holiday and not fall into the commercialism.

Remember, every woman loves flowers and a box of little candy hearts.

Topics: Meet the Matchmaker

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