Lessons from the Bachelorette

Posted by Amber Kelleher on May 26, 2010 3:00:00 AM

bacheloretteAnother season of The Bachelorette has just kicked off with Ali Fedotowsky hoping to go from intro-to-altar in ten weeks. For those of you that missed this last season of The Bachelor,

Ali was the candidate that withdrew from the final four with Jake because of pressure from work, and now she’s back and has a corral of 25 gentleman hoping that “I do” is in their future.

There are a lot of things I love about this show, in addition to the fact that Ali is from right here in San Francisco and is incredibly cute and bubbly. I’m not suggesting that national television is the best garden for cultivating a lifetime romance in less than three months, but the show illustrates a lot of great lessons for finding true love.

Lesson #1: A well-screened talent pool is a great start for romance. The executive producers put together a highly qualified set of potential matches and romance blooms on many fronts. The Kelleher International singles database is a primary source of our great success with clients – we start with an amazing set of individuals and through in-depth interviews and screening, develop matches for our clients.

Lesson #2: Love doesn’t care about your check list. Everyday I start working with clients with a long list of what they tell me are “musts” – a certain age, a particular education, yes/no kids, yes/no previously married, and on and on and on. What I love about the Bachelor/Bachelorette is how any of these preconceived notions that the candidate might have are often washed away with the interactions that are part of the show. Last season, Jake began to develop real feelings for an artistic woman, a professional woman, a highly educated woman, a high-school educated woman, a lively single and a single mom. Jake eventually came to understand that shared values and personal chemistry quickly invalidated any early-stage check list he might have had.

Lesson #3: No two people develop a relationship at the same speed. We’ve seen in almost every season, the guy is asking “are you ready to consider a long term commitment?” and the woman says “I’m getting there,” or she says “are you ready to open up and be vulnerable?” and he responds with “I’m very fond of you.” On the show, it’s grounds for missing a rose at the next ceremony, but in real life the reaction should be quite different. At Kelleher we counsel our clients to look for progress, not overall progress at the rate that they are personally feeling. When clients become frustrated that relationships are not moving at the pace they hope for, we urge them to look for progress and have confidence in the relationship moving forward, and then, if the relationship languishes, to have direct discussions with their partner as opposed to holding it inside.

I can’t wait for Monday night and the next episode.

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Whether you are a new client flying off to Paris for your first match or have been happily married for more than twenty years, Kelleher International wants to be your resource to make your journey of love wildly fulfilling, exciting, dynamic, and deeply passionate.

We’ll talk about strategies for dating success, navigating relationship land mines, and the mindset it takes to find love and make it blossom.  We will put current events in the context of seeking love and even give you a little window into the match making business and how a centuries-old tradition continues to evolve in our modern world.  The “right one” is out there for you, so check back weekly for updates or follow us on Twitter to make the most of our partnership in your future.

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Jill & Amber