Matchmaker Spotlight - June - Kimberly!

Posted by Amber Kelleher on Jun 1, 2010 9:00:00 AM

He's a great guy, treats me right, is smart, good looking and makes me laugh, but on Saturday night I want to dance-until-dawn and he wants to be lights-out by eleven! Help! Is this a deal breaker?!?

Thanks for the question! This leads into one of the biggest myths of dating ... "opposites attract". The right phrase is "complements attract, opposites repulse" -- he likes to cook and she loves to eat is not the pairing of opposites, it's the pairing of two passions that go together.

My first thought is to explore why he is early-to-bed on a Saturday night? Is it so he can get up Sunday morning for a 50-mile bike ride? If so, Spectacular! It's great that the two of you have passions, and you need to have a conversation with him about finding a balance.

However, if your man's homebody outlook is just part of his personality, then this is a major warning sign. Being the life-of-the-party may be part of your identity and joie-de-vivre, and it would be a major decision to compromise that. And no, you're not "going to change him" -- the late night lifestyle is either in you, or it's not. If you can picture yourself five years down the road going out alone or with your girlfriends every Saturday night, then it might be time for a hard decision.

For more on opposites and complements, check out this blog post on dating conflicts.

Topics: Meet the Matchmaker

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