This post is for the fellas. Most of the questions I get are around finding “the One” and then the many stages of courting and romance. In the past two decades we have worked with thousands of couples at Kelleher International and have seen hundreds and hundreds of marriages between our clients. If
you are lucky enough to be in a relationship and are considering a proposal, then my top piece of advice for you is “make a memory”. Whether you are 25 or 55, your engagement day can be a shared memory that continues to build the excitement to your wedding day.
Okay, now that you’ve decided to “make a memory”, think hard about how your future wife (so exciting!) would want the event to unfold. Picture her on the phone with her girlfriends the next day retelling the story. Imagine her on the phone with her parents sharing the news.
Personally, the thought of being proposed to on the Jumbotron at a Knick’s game is more embarrassing than exciting – so be careful not to confuse BIG EVENT with GREAT MEMORY. Plan carefully THE PROPOSAL and the AFTER-PROPOSAL. Let’s start with THE PROPOSAL – what are the three words you want your fiancée to use when she is telling the story the next day (and for the next twenty years). Here are a couple of great things I heard from recent engagements that hit the nail on the head:
- He held a dinner party that had the same six attendees and exact menu from the dinner party two years earlier where he had taken her on their first date – at the end of the meal he proposed
- He paid two camera men with telephoto lenses to capture the event from a distance, and later that night he presented her with a photo record of the event (I can only imagine how much better the story telling was the next day)
- He organized a private dinner on a beach at sunset – complete with string quartet playing background music
What these all have in common is that they create a memory that your future wife can’t wait to share (verrrrry important!) and it starts of your journey to the altar on the perfect note….
Next time, Engagement Part II – AFTER PROPOSAL