At the core of every person is the fundamental desire to love, to be loved, and to achieve happiness. Yet, even though love and happiness are considered to be deeply intertwined, many of us have a hard time understanding love and how to find it. At Kelleher International, we believe that there is a match out there for everyone, but that many relationships fail for the following reasons:
Poor Communication: Human beings are a prideful bunch. We don't particularly like needing other people, especially our significant others, because we feel that appearing too needy will drive them away. When you feel this way, you often take care to censor yourself instead of communicating your needs to your partner honestly. Unfortunately, your partner is not a mind reader, and when they are unable to fulfill your unexpressed needs, resentment and anger set in. Bottling up bad feelings does nothing but put the relationship under pressure and, ultimately, causes it to implode. Here's what you can do to communicate more effectively with your partner:
- Take responsibility for your happiness. Examine whether this person is making you unhappy or if that is something that you are doing to yourself.
- Speak honestly and openly with your partner, no matter what.
- Listen to your partner and do everything in your power to meet their needs.
- Keep complaints IN the relationship. Instead of complaining to a friend about an unmet need, talk instead to your partner. A relationship is under enough pressure from itself without additional judgment from an outside party.
Fear, insecurity and pride: One of the chief ways that we identify ourselves is through our relationships' external appearances, both on a career and a romantic level. The first thing we do when we meet someone new is to ask a.) What they do for a living, and b.) Their relationship status. Attachment to these identifying factors as a replacement for true identity can cause you to lose touch, and begin to think of appearances rather than what is underneath. When you make your relationship status a central part of your identity, it becomes easy to slip into codependency and grow fearful of losing your significant other. Out of that, you may grow needy and demand validation from your partner, something that isn't healthy for anyone.
Incompatibility: You may be a great person, and they may be a great person, but this does not mean that you will necessarily make a great couple. You may not want to end things because it is inconvenient or hard to do so, and you might end up settling in an unhappy relationship. This ends up hurting both you and them in the long run.
What you can do: Take some time to write down exactly what you are looking for in a partner. By identifying the traits that you are looking for, you can narrow down your search in real life. When you enter into a relationship, make your expectations and needs clear to the other person. Most importantly, love yourself and take care to meet your own personal needs too.
Kelleher International specializes in finding "The One." Please contact us today to find your perfect match.