Why Online Dating is the Worst

Posted by Amber Kelleher on Jan 20, 2014 7:54:00 AM

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One of the main problems of allowing a highly complex algorithm to make you a match is chiefly that it requires you to trust a computer to intimately know who you are based on your photos and answers to a questionnaire,

and then find people that will be a good fit for you. If you've seen the critically acclaimed movie Her, you know that artificial intelligence is exactly what its name implies - artificial. Using a computer program to match people based on their human characteristics can only have two outcomes. First, that the people you're matched with are terrible matches and thus turn your first date into an interview of sorts, or second, that being in front of what seems like all of the fish in the sea makes the chances of finding "the one" all the more improbable.

There Are Too Many Fish in the Sea, and Many of Them Are Liars

Many people find that online dating makes it harder to settle because of the overwhelmingly large number of potential matches online. The other main concern of online dating is the fact that people lie. They may alter their profile to be more appealing, or use a picture from when they were younger to attract more potential mates. Photos play the biggest part in deceiving online singles because the internet offers a sense of anonymity, allowing users to pretend to be whomever they would like.

Alli Reed, a writer for Cracked.com, did an experiment by creating an online dating profile for a fake person "so awful, so toxic, so irredeemably unlikable that no one would message her, or if they did, at least they would realize they never, ever wanted to meet her." Reed used a photo of a model for the fake woman's profile, which generated 150 messages in 24 hours, despite the horrible things the fake woman would say to the men messaging her. This experiment highlights how your appearance plays a much bigger role than it should in attracting a potential partner. If you read the article, you will find that the fake woman is so incredibly offensive that she could never get a partner if she acted that way in real life. Dating, relationships, marriage and family - those things are all active parts of our real lives. The internet is something altogether "other" and, as such, our real priorities do not translate well online.

Online Dating is Unnecessarily Expensive:

While nothing in life is free, at least one can reasonably expect that expensive items are generally better than cheaper alternatives. Online dating sites typically charge a monthly fee, and it can take years to sift through failed matches before beginning a long term relationship with someone special. The cost adds up and you don't even have the benefit of a real person setting you up with a compatible match. With an effective matchmaking service, you are not scored on your compatibility with other people based on random computer algorithms, but rather by real people who care about you and can help you find a real person with strong potential. Instead of being presented with thousands of matches, you can take every date one at a time and meet your special someone.

Online Dating Can Change Your Attitudes:

Because online dating websites are full of people who lie about their appearances as well as people who are naturally more attractive than others, your self-self-assurance can plummet when you have to compete with more attractive people, be they real or fake. People can also be emboldened by the anonymity of the internet and criticize you without regard for your feelings. Low self-esteem and confidence are huge barriers when it comes to dating because so much of your relationship's health is based on how you carry yourself. You may also face more rejection, as the matches you meet online are being pulled away (as you are) by all the other potential matches out there.

While it can work for some, online dating is just not worth the heartbreak and stress for most people. It is much better to connect with someone on a face-to-face basis with a foundation based in reality rather than having to rely on a computer program to make these connections on your behalf.

 

Topics: Dating

Whether you are a new client flying off to Paris for your first match or have been happily married for more than twenty years, Kelleher International wants to be your resource to make your journey of love wildly fulfilling, exciting, dynamic, and deeply passionate.

We’ll talk about strategies for dating success, navigating relationship land mines, and the mindset it takes to find love and make it blossom.  We will put current events in the context of seeking love and even give you a little window into the match making business and how a centuries-old tradition continues to evolve in our modern world.  The “right one” is out there for you, so check back weekly for updates or follow us on Twitter to make the most of our partnership in your future.

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Jill & Amber