Our matchmakers are thrilled to announce: good old fashioned romance is back in style!
According to recent research, dating for a long period of time before marriage is good for your relationship. Biological anthropologist and Senior Research Fellow at Indiana University Helen Fisher recently gave her thoughts on what really contributes to long-term success in an interview for Big Think. One of those factors was a longer pre-marriage dating period. Professional matchmaking services like ours try to promote: introductions pre-screened for success and compatibility so you can focus on your relationship.
When couples first fall in love, parts of the prefrontal cortex actually shut down. These areas are associated with long-term thinking like planning ahead. The initial aspects of a relationship make both parties feel great at first, but the true test of a relationship is what happens when logic kicks back in and the couple is forced to look at each other objectively. Our matchmakers help new couples navigate this tricky phase of a relationship by pairing an individual with someone who is already a good match on paper and, as we often discover, in real life!
Today’s divorce statistics are astounding: 48 percent of first marriages end in divorce. Second marriages have even lower rates of success. "There was a recent study in which they asked a lot of [dating] people who were living together ... why have they not yet married and 67% were terrified of divorce," Fisher says.
At first glance, Fisher’s comments make it sound like the institution of marriage is in trouble, but she also points out that this fear of divorce may actually be a good thing. More couples today choose to prolong the length of time they spend in the dating phase, which leads to deeper connections prior to making any long-term commitments.
Fisher’s ideal length of time before committing to marriage? Two years.
She says couples need time to learn more about how their partners celebrate holidays, go through the seasons, interact with family members, and take care of themselves. Our matchmakers agree: two “cycles” provide enough time to spend observing a potential life partner – especially if the goal is to spend the rest of your life with that person!
We advise our clients that taking time to get to know your partner is key to building healthy, long-lasting relationships. Our CEO, Amber Kelleher-Andrews explains, "Chemistry is a great catalyst for romance. But alignment of morals and values is essential to the recipe for long term love" and it takes time to discover these important factors in a mate. The concept of “slow love,” as Fisher calls it, points to a change in recent attitude about love and dating. We agree with Fisher's discovery that “marriage used to be the beginning of the relationship – now it’s the finale.” We know how tricky it is to navigate the path of dating to marriage and are here to help you find success!