Flirting is an essential part of any successful date. It’s all well and fine to show up, look nice, and make polite conversation, but the goal is to convey genuine interest if you ever want to see your date again. The good news is that most flirting is instinct; playing with your hair or flashing a coy smile comes naturally. The bad news is, sometimes these subtle signs are not easily picked up by the object of your affection. Abandon fear and go all-in. Kelleher International encourages everyone to flirt like you mean it! Use these five tips to pull it off like a pro and get the girl (or guy) every time.
Eye contact. There’s a trick many people in the professional world use: stare to the point where it’s almost uncomfortable before looking away (or wait until the other person looks away first). In the office, this concept is about power, but on a date it’s about connection. The point is to convey that your attention is focused on your date and nowhere else. Eye contact also helps build an emotional connection between two people, especially during intense conversation. Psychologist Arthur Aron agrees – eye contact is a powerful dating tool.
Compliments. Give your crush a compliment early in the date to help set positive expectations. Avoid superficial compliments and focus instead on feelings. Telling your date how comfortable you are with them trumps a quick remark about his or her hair. If you really do like your date’s outfit, try to work the compliment into conversation instead of throwing it in out of the blue. You want to transition into these smoothly instead of making your date feel like these abrupt compliments are manufactured. Additionally, stick to one or two compliments for each interaction. You don’t want to scare your date off by coming on too strong.
Touch. A hand on the shoulder or a playful foot nudge under the table indicates interest and can help kick your date up a notch. Research has actually revealed which types of touch are most flirtatious: handshakes ranked as “friendly,” while touches on the shoulder, waist or forearm were deemed to be obvious signs of affection. A soft touch on the face got the most extreme reaction from study participants. Touch also increases the likelihood of compliance when asking for a phone number. This is one psychological trick you can’t afford to ignore!
Set expectations. Close the conversation with a plan to reconnect at a later date so there is no room for misinformation. If you are speaking to your date over the phone or via text, let them know you’ll text or call again tomorrow and (this is important) follow through with your promise. If you are on an in-person date, express that you had a good time, but do not immediately put your date on the spot to commit to a second date. Instead, give them 24 hours and then check in. If things didn’t go as well as you thought, this is an easy way for both of you to move on quickly and easily.
Have fun! Flirting is supposed to be fun, playful and casual. It’s okay to engage in light conversation without making a commitment right away. Get to know the target of your affection, see if your date is willing to play along, and gauge their responses accordingly.
That attractive brunette sitting across from you at the table is not going to call if they don’t know you’re interested! These flirting tips help build tension and a playful rapport so you can have a positive dating experience. Do what comes naturally and push the boundaries of your comfort zone. Get your flirt on with a personalized match selected just for you by one of Kelleher International’s elite matchmakers. After all, flirting is just the beginning.