You don’t have to take part in a cheesy corporate retreat to build teamwork in your relationship. Many couples find working toward the same goals, sharing some common interests, and simply keeping the best interest of their partner in mind is enough to build trust and develop a sense of intimacy, but it takes time to build that kind of rapport with another person. No one comes pre-packaged as a dating expert with all the knowledge required to “make it work.” The simple fact is: people in long-term relationships have a different mindset than people who have been single for long periods of time. The elite matchmakers at Kelleher International have some great tips to transition your thoughts from “me” to “we” and build a solid foundation for your future together.
Assume the best. Most couples start off with stars in their eyes at the beginning of a relationship only to find that initial loving feeling fades after a few weeks (or months). During this period of time it is easy to find fault in your partner or assume helpful comments are meant to be harsh, nagging criticism. Reverse that thought process to filter in only positive messages. Always assume your partner has your best interests in mind.
Plan events together. Whether you host a party yourself or simply invite your date to casual gathering, it is important to think of your date when social events come around. If you’ve been invited to a girls’ night or boys’ night out, be considerate enough to let your partner know so they can make alternate plans for the evening.
Ask for help. People are not mind readers. When it comes to deciphering what your date wants, simply ask and really pay attention to the things they say. You may be pleasantly surprised by the response you get. Often a dissatisfied partner only wants you to listen or be willing to compromise toward a solution. Conflict does not have to cause malcontent in your relationship and neither of you has to be perfect; you just have to be willing to work together.
Walk a mile. OK, not really, but at least try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes to understand how they feel on any given topic. If your partner had a long day, try to think about what you can do to make them feel better. If they are excited about something you feel less enthusiasm for, try not to discount their happiness. Instead, understand where they’re coming from and empathize.
Share goals. Some of the strongest relationships are focused not just on looking at each other, but on looking in the same direction. In other words, don’t be so caught up adoring your partner that you forget about common interests or the similarities that brought you together in the first place. Do you both love the same sports team? Are you looking forward to the same musical event this year? Do you aspire to the same dreams? Build a connection based on traits you already have.
Talk each other up! Build your partner’s image in the minds of your friends and family (even when your partner is not around). This shows you truly respect each other and want others to see the same wonderful traits in this person that you see. Similarly, try not to vent about your date too much: you might forgive them later, but your best friend probably never will.
Your relationship is unique and deserves to be nurtured as an exceptional connection between two people. Butterflies can carry you so far, but after that the real work begins: building a life together based on shared interests and goals. You must both commit to working together and acting as a team to build a long-term relationship. Explore testimonials from real-life Kelleher clients to see the difference a custom match can make in your life.