Matchmaking Tips: How Optimism can Improve your Relationship

Posted by Kelleher International on Mar 10, 2017 11:08:29 AM

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For years, relationship gurus, psychologists and matchmakers have recommended more optimism in relationships. Couples who proactively practice an optimistic attitude are happier, more willing to try new things, and not afraid of what the future holds. Thinking on the bright side might seem impossible, especially if one or both of you are not optimistic by nature. Don’t worry! Our matchmakers have compiled a guide to help you harness the power of optimism and bring it into your budding relationship.

Communicate Values

Do you and your partner share values and generally view life in the same way? It’s very common for one person in the relationship to see their life and world in a glass half full kind-of-way, while the other’s glass is always half empty. Don’t fret if you find yourself on opposite ends of the spectrum! As the saying goes, opposites attract… but they won’t stay together long if they can’t communicate their values! Once you both understand each other’s perspective and motivation, it’s much easier to celebrate differences and appreciate the yin to your yang.

Instead of fights that revolve around who’s right and wrong, you’ll be able to understand your partner's point of view. You’ll have real discussions and work through issues in a refreshing, rational way. An optimistic attitude about the uniqueness of perspective will only enrich your relationship.

Act From a Place of Love

If it feels good, do it! If your partner makes you happy, let them know. Reward and support your partner in ways that are important to them and bring joy to their day. If you don’t know what that looks like for them, ask! On the flipside, if you aren’t getting what you need out of the relationship, instead of picking a fight or acting out, ask specifically for what you want or need. It should never be a deep, scolding conversation. Instead, from a place of love, ask for what you want. Positive actions lead to optimistic thoughts about the relationship from both parties.

Couples who have mastered the art of optimism have developed the following habits to remain emotionally present:

  •    Reassurance. Thoughtless comments hurt feelings, it’s that simple. If you make such a comment, don’t hesitate to remedy it and work on eliminating those remarks from your rhetoric altogether. Replace with words of reassurance; supportive dialogue goes a long way to restoring your mood and repairing your partner’s feelings.
  •    Respect. Your relationship cannot survive, and ultimately thrive without respect. Even if you get upset, you should be conscious of your sweetheart’s feelings and respect their perspective.
  •   Communicate solutions, not problems. It’s not uncommon for couples to go months, even years without addressing key issues. Ignoring problems doesn't make them go away. Quite the opposite, issues not addressed grow and fester into big, ugly problems casting shadows over your optimistic future.
  • Flexibility. Even if you’re pessimistic, don’t shut yourself off from the possibility of optimism in your relationship. By maintaining a flexible mindset, you open yourself up to beautiful possibilities in the future. You’ll develop the ability to notice the best in each other and make conscious choices to respond positively in stressful situations.

You don’t have to be perfect to deserve an optimistic future. By working with your partner and actively taking thoughtful, positive action, you will collectively encourage a hopeful future for your relationship. Our matchmakers encourage everyone to find a partner who makes them see the best in themselves and each other.

If you’ve had trouble finding this person and keep running into dead ends, it may be time to lean on a professional matchmaker. With the right help and guidance, we’ll find someone who not only sees the best in you, but also encourages you to see the best in everyone else. Contact us today!

Topics: relationship advice, Dating, Build confidence, couples, advice for couples

Whether you are a new client flying off to Paris for your first match or have been happily married for more than twenty years, Kelleher International wants to be your resource to make your journey of love wildly fulfilling, exciting, dynamic, and deeply passionate.

We’ll talk about strategies for dating success, navigating relationship land mines, and the mindset it takes to find love and make it blossom.  We will put current events in the context of seeking love and even give you a little window into the match making business and how a centuries-old tradition continues to evolve in our modern world.  The “right one” is out there for you, so check back weekly for updates or follow us on Twitter to make the most of our partnership in your future.

Let us come with you on your journey!

Jill & Amber