New relationships can be life-changing. However, when it comes to a romantic commitment, it is important to ask yourself a few questions before jumping into something new. Certain aspects of the relationship should be weighed first. At Kelleher International, we understand that transitioning from “dating” to “committed” can be both rocky and exhilarating. Ask yourself these questions before committing:
- What am I looking for in a relationship?
First, identify what is going to make you both happy and unhappy in a relationship. While it is also important to keep an open mind, it is just as important to listen to your gut instinct. If this is someone you can see a future with, then commitment shouldn’t seem like such a transition. Feelings of joy and excitement should be experienced. However, if this is someone that you see more of a short-term dating lifestyle with, then commitment may not be the answer.
- Do we have the same values and beliefs? Is this important to me?
If you have not had this conversation with your significant other, now is the time. Ask one another what your core values and beliefs are before entering a committed relationship. These might include specific morals, religious beliefs, political views, etc. Determine whether your dissimilarities will affect the relationship either negatively or positively. Ask yourself if these differences are important and whether or not you still see a compatible future together.
- What potential baggage am I taking on by committing to this relationship?
Address the inevitable before saying yes to a committed relationship. Weigh the potential baggage that comes with committing to this person, both good and bad. Are children involved? Is this person on good terms with their exes? What emotional baggage do they have? Answer these questions and determine how to they will affect your relationship.
- Is our communication open and honest?
Can you talk about touchy and more serious subjects with this individual? These might include topics such as money, religion, sex, past relationships, etc. It is important to be able to discuss all of these matters with the person to whom you are committing. If someone is more reserved and hesitant to open up, weigh whether or not knowing these factors about them is a deal breaker.
- What do my friends and/ or family think of them?
If any members of your family or friends have met this individual, take their feedback and input to heart. In any committed relationship, it is important for both partners to get along with the other’s family and friends. However, if loved ones seem to have concerns and hesitations toward this person, there might be a red flag. Take all of this into consideration. While family and friends will not be the ones in the relationship, they can still shed vital insight.
- What attracts me to them?
Identify what factors make this person so attractive to you. These include their physical traits, personality, accomplishments, goals, etc. Determine why you want to be in a committed relationship with this person, and decide whether or not those reasons are what will help you build a strong, long-term future together.
- What obstacles have we already faced and overcome together?
Make a mental note of what obstacles or milestones you both have overcome together while dating. Perhaps it was meeting family members for the first time, settling your first fight together, or simply working to make time for one another when your schedules conflict. How did you both handle these confrontations? It is important for partners to be able to work together and in a positive manner when facing any type of milestone, change, or disagreement.
These are important questions to ask before making any commitment to a relationship. While it is inevitable that conflict will occur, it is important to make sure your partner knows how to handle such encounters in a mature and healthy manner. If you are still looking for that special someone to begin your future with, we can help. Take a look at our team of elite matchmakers and contact us today to get started!