Stop Arguments Before They Start for Happier Relationships

Posted by Kelleher International on Oct 23, 2015 8:59:13 AM

vipflash / Shutterstock.comKelleher International’s upscale professional matchmaking services don’t end with the first successful date. Our matchmakers genuinely want your relationship to succeed, which is why we offer continued relationship guidance and engagement packages. Conflict resolution is another large part of any successful relationship, as the way couples face disagreements speaks to their personalities and ability to respect others. Our international matchmakers have developed five tips to prevent arguments altogether and promote constructive conversation.

 The Talking Stick

If there is one particular topic which has caused arguments in the past, designate a new approach to your discussions: the talking stick technique. Talking sticks have been used by Native American tribes for centuries to promote patience and respect among the tribe. Only the person holding the talking stick is permitted to speak and all others must simply listen without interruption until it is their turn to speak. This tactic teaches couples to listen and respect other perspectives even if they disagree.


Stop Defending Yourself

Deflect instead! Argumentative comments can be shut down by stating that you respect your partner’s opinion even if you maintain your own separate views on the topic at hand. There is no need to belittle your partner or make them feel like their thoughts are not worthy. Validate your partner and build them up by considering their ideas, even if you disagree.


Set Expectations

A great deal of conflict is caused when couples expect that their partners know what they want without ever having talked about it. Many couples are so close it can feel like you are capable of reading each other’s minds, but don’t be fooled – your partner needs clear and effective communication just like you do. If you expect your partner to behave a certain way or do more chores around the house, speak up and say so! Your partner may be more than willing to oblige.


Take Your Relationship Off the Table

Couples who threaten to break up or withhold sex as punishment for arguments are typically proven to break up more quickly and report lower relationship happiness than couples who don’t. This creates an atmosphere of instability and makes couples feel constantly “on edge.” Build a secure relationship by reassuring your partner that, while you may disagree from time to time, you still love them and want to be with them. Petty arguments should never be the cause of a breakup.


Check In

Don’t stockpile issues from the past to use against your partner all at once; if a long time has passed since the original incident, your partner is not likely to even remember the issue in question. If something needs to be addressed, do so in a timely manner and explain your feelings calmly and without accusation. Listen to your date’s side of the story and be prepared to propose several potential solutions to the problem.


No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, conflict is something couples have to face together. Sometimes, compromise is the best solution and in other cases it takes an apology to get past an argument. Defense mechanisms often get in the way of collaborating to develop a healthy relationship worth fighting for. Put your egos aside and work with one another for the good of the relationship. When in doubt, reach out to your exclusive professional dating service for more dating tips and tricks to improve your love life.

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