We’ve all had this dilemma at one point or another: you’re dating someone new and your feelings have grown so much you’re almost ready to say the “L-word”…but not yet. You might have found the phrase on the tip of your tongue only catch yourself at the last minute. The truth is, no one wants to be the first to say “I love you.” The fear of your date hesitating before giving a response is enough to make even the strongest man shudder. It’s time to test the waters with Kelleher International’s rejection-proof ways to show your affection without actually saying it:
Make eye contact. Shakespeare wasn’t kidding: eyes are the windows to the soul. Renowned psychologist Dr. Aron Arthur performed a scientific study in 1997 that yielded surprising results: answering personal questions while staring into a stranger’s eyes resulted in strong feelings of connection with the other person. If this experiment worked on strangers, it is far more likely to build feelings of intimacy in people who already know each other. Besides…who wouldn’t want to stare into those baby blues?
Confide in your partner. Your date should be your best friend. By sharing information about life, you’re connecting on a level shared by very few people. Your date will be flattered to be included in this exclusive group and you will feel better knowing your date is someone you can trust. Plus, your date will be more likely to confide in you, too.
Use texting to your advantage. It’s nice to know your date is thinking about you even hours after you’ve parted. Send your partner simple messages like, “can’t stop thinking about you” or “looking forward to seeing you Friday.” If you’re feeling flirty, try to add a winking emoji or smiley face. These are foolproof messages for both men and women.
Listen. There are few moments more attractive than when your partner makes a comment that shows they were listening to you earlier. Really listening. For those of us who are not born communicators, there is one small cheat: use knowledge you already have of your partner to surprise them. If you know your date loves the beach, suggest a Caribbean weekend getaway or a day trip to the shore. You may even get extra points for spontaneity.
Express yourself honestly. If your partner does something sweet, it’s always okay to express gratitude. Try thanking them with a kiss, or acknowledge the gesture by doing something nice for them later on. Telling your date how great they look or how much you appreciate their kindheartedness is a great way to build a healthy bond. When your partner feels loved, they are more likely to reciprocate those feelings in return.
Test the waters. If you suspect your date is ready for a committed relationship and might feel the same way, try to initiate a conversation that includes your favorite things about each other or the relationship. When you have an open, honest conversation about your feelings for one another it opens the floor to related topics (like whether or not it’s safe to confess your undying love).
Don’t be discouraged. It’s perfectly normal for couples to say “I love you” at different times in the relationship. If you say it first and your date doesn’t return the favor, stay calm and remember you have opened the door for communication. Your date might need time to process their own feelings and this is a good sign: it means the sentiment behind their confession will be so much more organic and natural when it finally does come. Be patient with your partner and with yourself.
Love does not run on a deadline. There is no finish line, judge, or “A+” waiting for you at the end of the road; in the end, it is only you and your partner’s opinions of each other that matter. Take your unique personality traits into account and do what feels best for your relationship at the time. Contact us today and let us customize your journey to love. Our lines of communication are always open.