Finding love is about more than simply wanting a relationship to cure loneliness; it’s about being emotionally ready to look out for someone else’s well-being in addition to balancing your own life. Happy couples don’t stay together by accident. A long-term relationship is the result of hard work and years of continuous self-improvement. The work never ends, but the effort is worth it for couples who really love each other. The common misconception is that the hard work begins only after you have found someone of interest. Our matchmakers have identified 10 attitudes you must fix before even meeting someone you want to date.
Believing All the Good Ones Are Taken
It’s true that the older we get, the smaller our pool of potential partners becomes. This doesn’t mean there is no one to date – it just means you need to change your strategy. Our matchmakers have an extensive database of singles just waiting for their perfect match to come along, but there are plenty of ways to advocate for yourself, too. Find hobbies that make you stand out from everyone else. Embrace your individuality, and cultivate behaviors that you would find attractive in someone else.
Fixating on “The One That Got Away”
You can’t commit to someone else if your heart is stuck on an ex. Take the time you need to get over past relationships. Burn old photos, block negative people on social media, and immerse yourself in activities you really enjoy. The more you do for yourself, the easier it will be to heal and reclaim your emotional health.
Thinking You Are Better Off Without a Partner
This is a common defense mechanism people use to keep themselves from getting hurt. Even introverts crave human companionship, so don’t fall into the mindset of thinking you should go it alone. There are many financial, emotional and physical benefits to a relationship, but it is ultimately up to you to decide that you are ready to receive love – and to give it in return.
Failure to Compromise
Some people find the beginning of a relationship is easy, but get frustrated a couple months in. We see this most often in “Type A” personalities who are very cut-and-dry in their personal and professional relationships. The key to working through this rough phase is to give more and take less. Your partner might be pushing back because they are overextended and need a break, or maybe you have placed unreasonable demands on the relationship. Either way, this is a good time to evaluate your priorities and try to sort out the “small stuff” from the things that really matter.
Looking for a 10
People are not trophies. Rating your dates on a scale of one to ten is dehumanizing and signifies that you may need to do some additional soul-searching before finding a happy and fulfilling relationship. Our matchmakers will never arrange an introduction with someone that doesn’t have potential in your life, so give each date an honest chance. Someone may not meet your original expectations at first glance, but if you take the time to talk to them, you may learn that you have a lot in common. There is a reason behind every match, so get through the first date kindly and respectfully. The results might surprise you.
“Knowing” Who You Want to Date
Some people date celebrities and movie stars, but not everyone is happy living with a spouse who has such a demanding travel schedule. Your perfect match could very well be a lawyer, politician, artist, or none of the above. Keep an open mind when looking for love to avoid ruling out perfectly good matches prematurely.
Believing Everyone Wants a Hookup
Our matchmakers predict a shift toward long-term monogamous relationships in 2017. While hook-up culture was pervasive in the past and might linger for a while longer, millennials are growing up and so are the rest of us. As people get older they naturally desire more mature relationships centered on stability and companionship. We anticipate record numbers of people seeking commitment in 2017.
Overbooking Your Schedule
You might have an amazing career, but you will enjoy that success alone if you don’t slow down to enjoy dinner with the attractive date our matchmakers picked out for you. Practice saying “no” when meetings and professional obligations begin to encroach on your personal life. Romance is important. Make a commitment to invest in yourself and your desires.
Assuming they’re All the Same
It’s a mistake to assume your preferred gender always adheres to the stereotypes society has presented. Not all men are cheaters and not all women are gold diggers. There are honest people out there, but they generally won’t be bothered with anyone who goes into the date with a negative attitude. Let each individual person make their own impression without applying preconceived ideas to the date.
There is nothing worse than completely giving up on your love life because you have been hurt in the past or no longer believe you have a compatible match. Our matchmakers have seen love stories come true too many times to believe someone is simply fated to be alone.
Don’t let negative attitudes hold you back from the best relationship of your life. Work with a matchmaker to correct your misconceptions about love and prepare for a better future. Contact us today to learn more.