One commonly accepted theory throughout the dating scene is that women are attracted to the “bad boy” type and, as a result, nice guys always finish last. In fact, last week we talked about this very phenomenon and discussed the types of men that women should avoid when looking for a serious relationship. It turns out that, while common perception makes it seem like nice guys are going out of style, the truth is that women want nice guys more than ever!
But here’s the catch: a nice guy is not simply a shoulder to cry on or someone too timid to make a move and constantly friend-zoned in the process. The nice guy must instead be both “nice” as well as spontaneous and passionate at the same time. Guys, if you’re looking for a serious relationship, it’s time to ditch the old stereotype of a nice guy, the current stereotype of a bad boy, and embrace the operational definition of “nice.”
Here are some tips to win over your love interest but without resorting to the “bad boy” persona:
Charm and gallantry will forever be in style. While the “bad boy” types are busy trying to pick up a date using insults, indifference and playing hard to get in the hopes that it will make the ladies want them more, the charming type is delivering classy compliments and engaging in meaningful conversation. The bad boy persona may work for picking up a date for one evening, but if you are looking for a date for life, it is better to start out as the good guy. The classier you are, the classier the type of person you will likely meet. After all, women can’t resist a combination of respect and charm. Demonstrate this combo, and she will respect and charm you in return.
Don’t be boring
One of the reasons that nice guys finish last is that they are often seen as boring. According to cultural stereotypes, the nice guy is utterly predictable and always follows a set routine. This does not have to be the case. Be impulsive and passionate, and don’t be afraid to flirt or take her by surprise. Be playful and funny – laughter is one of the easiest ways into a person’s heart.
It may be tempting to copy what the stereotypical nice guy does, and try to make your love interest the center of your life and constantly give everything you have to please her. However, a relationship is a two-way street and it is not fair to you or to her to act overbearing. Some “nice guys” see their role in the relationship as the breadwinner and the flower-giver, but if that is all you are to her before you start dating, then you are just another suitor trying to buy her affections. Remember, at this point, you are trying to secure her interest but, if you make it all about the gifts you give, then the relationship will be defined that way, and this is definitely not ideal for a genuine long-term relationship. By listening to her, you can learn exactly what she wants and needs.
By simply being a gentleman, you can show the person you adore that there are still nice guys in the world, and that they definitely don’t finish last. Kelleher International was founded on the premise that there is a great match out there for everyone. If you are tired of looking for love and striking out, email Kelleher International or call us at (415) 332-4111 today.